We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
