cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
