Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
