I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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