Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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