the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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