That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
