I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
only you would photoshop your dick
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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