Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize