i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
