you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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