Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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