Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
