I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
