But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
