I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
