I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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