i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
