You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
