Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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