can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
