I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Welp...herpes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
