Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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