She said her name was "party"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
