u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
