my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
