went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The best revenge is premature balding
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
