I'm jealous of your bromance
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
