I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
