so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we're making bets on your personal life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize