well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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