no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
