If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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