He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As shirtless as possible
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize