i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
