My sheets look like a crime scene.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
