omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He kissed a someone with a penis
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
you never un-have a 4some
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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