so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
