Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
These tits shall not be calmed
Success! We fucked roommates!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
