remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
