You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
