How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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