You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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