I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
