Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
