i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize