Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
