i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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