That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
