Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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