i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
