Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
