windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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