It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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