I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
