I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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