: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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