how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
