I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i now understand why vodka
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
