remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
