dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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