i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
