This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
