my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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